Remember Me
by StarryEyedDreamer6
Summary: Words hurt more than you might think. Or, 13 Reasons Why, Trina style.
1. Chapter 1

**Updated on 3/09/13 for minor changes because I wasn't entirely happy with it before.**

**This was inspired by the amazing Trina fanfictions by Nature9000, TheScarletOctopus, and midnightryder459. They were really inspiring and I really wanted to write one of my own.**

**And this is SLIGHTLY based off of the book 13 Reasons Why. The concept is the same, but the rest of it is completely different. **

**Disclaimer: This is called FANfiction for a reason. :( And I don't own anything else.**

"No, Trina! I said it once and I'll say it again, you're not welcome here! We are _trying _to write a song!" Tori shouted loudly, trying to be heard over Trina's protests. Tori and the gang were gathered around the piano, and Trina was annoying them. As usual, their parents were out of the house, their Dad on duty and their Mom having dinner with Gary.

"But-" Trina tried to say, but Tori interrupted her again.

"Don't you have your own friends to bother?"

"Trina has friends?" Cat questioned, playing with her hair, apparently unaware of the hurtful comment that had just passed through her bubblegum pink lips. "Oh, look guys!" She said, going up to the window and tilting her head. "You can see a rainbow! Did you know that rainbows have no taste? My brother-"

"Cat," Jade groaned, pulling her back towards the middle of the room. "We need to focu- I did not say you could play with my hair! CAT!" Beck, on Jade's other side, chuckling, aided Jade in getting her hair out of Cat's grasp and started playing with it himself. Jade just smiled slightly and leaned into his touch subtly.

"Why does Beck get to play with it then?" Cat asked, pouting cutely. Robbie smiled at her from his position on the other side of the piano. "It's so soft, Jadey!"

"Look, guys, we gotta finish this song! It's due tomorrow, and if we don't finish it, we'll have to do a wonky extra credit assignment for Sikowitz again." Andre interrupted, ignoring Jade, who was trying to lunge at Cat, only being unsuccessful because Beck was holding her back. Cat was hiding behind Robbie, hugging him tightly.

Watching the scene in front of her, Trina sighed softly, frowning for a second. "Well, since I'm _OBVIOUSLY_ not welcome here, I'm going to go!" Trina said, loud as usual, hoping for someone to ask her to stay. She flipped her hair and huffed when nobody replied immediately.

"Good riddance," Jade replied, relaxing a little bit. Tori and the rest of the gang ignored her, and Trina gathered some items from the couch before she stomped outside into the rain. It shouldn't affect her, the rudeness and the name-calling, and the general feeling that she was alone, but it did. Even her parents didn't seem to want her around, and when she went to college, she would be going very far away, just like her father had oh-so generously requested. Heck, her mother didn't care if she had even been left in Yerba! They were her parents, and it was almost as if they were ashamed of her!

Shaking her head, she headed to her car and turned the engine on. She would be headed to the usual place, so she could ignore the tickets in her purse and the harsh rejection of her sister. Everything was in place already, now she just had to tip the first domino. She hadn't thought she'd really do this, but things had grown worse and she had grown desperate to get away._  
_

"Hi, I'm Trina Vega, although I'm sure you already knew that. I would like to sing a song for a special someone." She slurred a bit, winking at an older man in the bar. She'd already had a few drinks, because she's _21 _**(she's surprised anyone believes that because she feels so immature)** and needs to get away from it all somehow. She started singing the words to a song she knew all too well. After all, it had been meant for her.

_Here I am, once again, feeling lost, but now and then,_

The buzz of the alcohol was getting to her, and she faltered, looking around in confusion. Had she just seen-? No, it couldn't be...

_I breathe it in, to let it go,_

Taking a deep breath, she continued the song, warbling a bit, but doing a decent job. Taking a deep breath, she pulled out an envelope, gave it to the bartender, and chugged down another gulp of her martini. It didn't taste as good as it had before, but she ignored that and focused on the pleasant floating feeling she got after.

_And you don't know where you are now,_

She was having trouble breathing now, and stopped singing abruptly before she staggered outside and vomited near the bushes. Wiping her spit from her mouth, she looked around frantically, as if worried someone would see her.

_Or what it would come to if only somebody could hear,_

Pulling her rhinestone studded Pearphone out, she called a number quickly, talking into the phone loudly, with forced cheer. She felt like she was about to cry, but held it back just as she had been practicing for most of her life. Just like she always did, because confident Trina Vega wasn't supposed to cry herself to sleep, now was she? Hanging up, still refusing to let the tears show, she walked back into the bar, trying to pull down the black miniskirt she had rashly changed into and ignored the suggestive looks that the creepy older guy was staring at her with. Avoiding everyone's gaze, especially the bartender's curious, and a bit concerned, look, she grabbed her martini and gulped it down, the fire in her throat giving her to confidence she craved. Then, she stormed out of there and stood on the side of the train tracks, reliving her happiest memories. _That Ke$ha concert was nice at first, and finding out that I was accepted into the prestigious HollyWood Arts. Until I almost got kicked out, that is... _

Right at 9:00, the train roared up the tracks, not noticing the black-clad girl leap up onto the train tracks until … _Crunch._

**I hope you liked it! Please review, I need some motivation to keep writing. I've had 1 and 1/2 chapters written for a month now and I'd love some encouragement! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Sorry if you checked my profile and expected this to be up on Thursday. My computer's been acting up and has been really slow and I've had tons of annoying drama in my life. To make up for it I added the voicemail to this chapter. Thanks for the reviews and alerts :)**

**This chapter is dedicated to my darling hamster who passed away yesterday, February 28th. She will be missed greatly! **

**"D**o you have to go?" Tori whined, looking at Andre pleadingly. "I'm gonna be all alone in this big house at 10 pm! And," She started, whispering conspiratorially. "I think Mr. Busey is still spying on my house. I'm not staying alone in here with some crazy stalker watching me!"

"Look, I gotta go. My grandma must be going crazy by now. She gets freaked out when it's dark, and you know how crazy that woman is. She's completely cuckoo. Off her rocker. I'm talking insane here, Tor, I have to go." Andre said gently, not wanting to go. He rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

"Insane?" Tori asked hesitantly, dreading the answer. She knew Andre's grandma was a little crazy, but she had never considered….

"She has schizophrenia, girl." Andre said, smiling softly. "She can't take care of herself, and I'm not sending her off to a nursing home and going to live with my uncle in Beverly Hills. She needs me, Tor. And I won't let her down."

"Ca-Would you mind if I came with you?" Tori shifted nervously. She wasn't used to not being able to help fix someone else's problems, and she was out of her comfort zone.

"Sure. Grandma likes you, you know. After that time I drove you to school, all she could talk about for a day was the girl who had held her oatmeal for her. She did comment on your rudeness in dropping it everywhere, but you can't be perfect."

"Great!" Tori exclaimed, thrilled that she wouldn't be stuck alone in her house. And even better, she'd be with Andre! "Now I just have to get packed," she murmured, mentally planning a list of things to bring.

"You're staying for one night. You don't need anything!" Andre stated, pulling her out the door.

"Fine." She whined, plopping into Andre's car. She sniffed loudly. "Your car still smells like that oatmeal."

"You know, when you get a car and somebody spills oatmeal in it, and you get the smell out, then you can criticize my car. But until then, muchacha, you're on your own." Andre started up the engine, driving out to his house. In five minutes, they were there, and as Tori exited the car, she thought of something.

"Hey, do you know where my phone is?" She asked, frantically patting her pockets.

"..No. I can't even find mine!" Andre answered. A second later the first few chords of "You Don't Know Me" came from the backseat of Andre's car.

"My phone!" Tori cried, climbing into the backseat and frantically running her hands over the seats. After a minute of the ringing, she finds it tucked in between the two seat cushions.

"Was that Jade calling you?" Andre asked, curious.

""No, it was my mom. Why would you think that?" Tori replied, glancing distractedly at him before turning back to her phone and redialing the number.

"Just 'cause of the ringtone. Why would you give your mom that ringtone?" Andre said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Oh… um." Tori said, seemingly stalling. She was distracted by her mom's voice over the phone. "Yeah, hi mom. I'm at Andre's, actually. I wanted to visit his grandma.. Mmhmm. No, she's not! Why would you think that? Well, kind of. He's right here you know! Look, I gotta go, did you just want to know where I was? What? Ugh! NO, she didn't tell us! I am going to kill her…" She exclaimed, her voice growing angry. Andre smiled affectionately, only Trina could rile her up like that. "Wait, she isn't home yet? No… You don't think…" Tori said, her voice concerned. "Ok. Bye, mom, I'll be home soon." After hanging up, she turned to Andre anxiously. "I'm really sorry, but can you take me home again? See, apparently Trina bought some tickets to see One Direction for tonight, and after telling Mom where she'd be, Mom told her to get some more tickets so we could go too. And now she isn't home and I think she might've done something bad. What if she's in jail?"

Andre brought her close to him, reaching over and encasing her in his arms. "It's okay. She'll be fine. She's Trina, right? She can handle anything." Tori smiled up at him, and soon he reluctantly let her go and revved up the engine. "Now let's take you home."

When they got to the house, Tori instantly checked her phone, only then noticing something. "Andre, look!" She exclaimed, shaking her phone in his face. "A voicemail from Trina!"

"Well don't just stand there looking at it! Listen to it!" Andre said, happily. "Now you know she isn't in jail." Smiling, he bumped shoulders with her happily.

Little did they know that it would've been much better to have her call from a jail than Trina leaving a voicemail from her Pearpad.

"Hey Tor, it's Trina... I bet you're wondering where I am. Or are you just enjoying the silence? Since you're my perfect little sister, I'll let you in on something. I'm dead right now; probably still all over those train tracks. I feel bad for the poor guy who's gonna run me over, probably feels guilty, y' know? If you ever meet him, maybe at my funeral- who am I kidding?! I probably won't get a funeral. I've been checking them out, and I never knew how expensive they could get! And since dad just told me a few days ago that I couldn't get a new mattress even though my old one has bedbugs, you should probably just leave me there. No worries, I probably won't mind anymore."

Tori gasped, appalled at the voicemail. What kind of messed up trick was Trina trying to pull this time? Although Trina sounded upbeat as usual, her words were morbid and disturbing. She listened intently as she continued speaking. "Right now, I'm probably peeking over your shoulder, singing a One Direction song. It's a shame I never got to go to that concert; it would've been no fun without you, anyway."

Tori frowned, Trina hadn't bothered to invite her! She was such a hypocrite! "I know what you're thinking, all of these ugly little thoughts about me. How I _didn't _invite you to the concert, and how I totally would've murdered a song by people who were actually talented, right? Don't worry, you don't have to answer, you couldn't even if you wanted to! And I was trying to invite you guys earlier, _but nobody _wanted me to stay! You were all too happy for me to go, so I did. Permanently. Happy now? Whoops, I've gotten terribly off topic. To find the rest of my message, go to 143 Monet Ave. The bartender will give you Andre's phone, with the rest of my information. Tell Andre that the password was _ridiculously _easy. Oh, since these are gonna be my last words to you, I'd better make them good.-" Trina was cut off. Tori sighed. The voice mail had timed out.

**I hoped you guys liked it! I'm now sure when the next chapter will be out, but since I'm shopping for a new hamster, it might not be that soon! This fic will be a bit dark 'cause Trina's gonna be a bit sadistic. And both of the reviews really meant a lot to me! Thanks Invader Johnny (I totally agree with you!) and Dream-to-reality123 (Your review was really sweet and very nicely detailed. It was one of the nicets reviews I've ever gotten and really, thanks so much!)**

**Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! I got this up in a week, which I think is good, considering I have another Victorious story in progress as well. I've decided to reply to reviews with PM's so I don't take up too much unneeded space starting with the reviews for this chapter. But I'll still reply to anonymous reviews. Here are my review replies, though. Thanks for the 4 reviews :D and the 5 favorites and 2 alerts! You guys are amazing!**

**Invader Johnny: Yeah, right? Your review actually inspired me to write a little part of Trina's message in this chapter. You'll see :)**

**bubblegumbossyhead: Aww, thanks! I'm flattered! :) **

**blue wigged thespian: There have been a lot of Trina fics cropping up. I've wanted to try my hand at one for a while, so I finally did! And yes, as I said in the first chapter, this was inspired by Thirteen Reasons Why. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Romanticly tragic perfection: Thanks! I hope you like this chapter!**

**I had a delayed opening today so it helped me finish up this chap. Hope you guys enjoy it!**

**Also, much thanks to Just a certain Readhead for telling me I accidentaly uploaded chapter 2 again!**

**This is all from Jade's POV.**

"Tori Vega is not available. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep!" The phone told Jade, who was very annoyed. Calling her again, she impatiently tapped her foot, before groaning and throwing her phone at the wall after hearing the dial tone yet another time. Tori had texted her and presumably the rest of the gang, saying that there was an urgent problem and to come to her house right away.

Examining the broken remains of the phone, Jade sighed. Her dad was going to give her _that _look again, the one where he was obviously disappointed but wasn't going to say anything, and then he would sigh too loudly and Jade would feel like a nuisance to her family yet again as she asked for a new one. Today was definitely _not _her day. Groaning (she seemed to do that a lot), she stomped to the other side of the house to wake up her little brother.

"I'm going out!" She called, leaving abruptly. He would just ask too many questions about where she'd be if she didn't go immediately. After their mother left them, he had abandonment issues. Jade got that, but she just couldn't deal with it right now. After revving up her car, she noticed that some idiot had TP'd the trees in front of her house. Of course, since her dad wasn't home, her stepmom would blame _her_, telling her to be more responsible. Jade silently cursed whatever deity that was out there for her horrendous day before rushing back into the house to grab a ladder and removing the toilet paper herself. Finally, after 15 minutes, 5 bruises and 2 slips, she was leaving yet again. By the time she got to the…bar?.. the rest of the gang was waiting impatiently for her.

"I called you 5 times, Jade!" Cat exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"My phone broke." Jade said tersely. Looking around, her eyes found Beck's, and she hid herself under the cover of his arm. Right across from her was Tori, who looked like a mess, with her hair sticking up everywhere and her mascara running. "What did you want to tell us, Vega?"

"Well, now that you're _finally_ here, I can explain. So Trina left me this really creepy voicemail about how she was dead and that she committed suicide. She was trying to invite us to a One Direction concert but we ignored her, so she got overdramatic, stole mine and Andre's phone, and killed herself. She apparently didn't get to finish her last message, so she left a note or something on Andre's phone. At first I didn't believe it, but we saw some blood on the train tracks outside and I don't know anymore. I'm just counting on the message on Andre's phone to help explain things." Jade was shocked. Would the tough Trina Vega really just go and kill herself? Thankfully, she was distracted by Tori talking, _again_. Did the girl ever shut up? It was giving her a migraine. Turning to Andre, Tori had accusingly added, "Which you still haven't told me the password to! Why was it so easy for her to guess?!"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Andre frowned down at her. Jade noticed a little blush in his dark cheeks and smirked. Whatever the password was, it must be embarrassing. "Shouldn't we check the note now anyway?" Andre changed the subject, fishing out his phone from his pocket. Turning away from a curious brunette, he typed in his password before looking through his phone. "I don't see it..."

After a few agonizing minutes, he finally found it. "Okay, I'll read it out loud, guys." He said to nobody in particular. But by then, no one was listening except for Tori. Cat was texting, Robbie was talking to Beck about some nerdy class they both took, and Jade was almost asleep. Beck elbowed her as Andre shouted out his findings once more, and she jerked awake, curls in disarray. Andre stared at her a moment before continuing, speaking in a higher tone of voice. "Hey guys. If I'm right, all 6 of you are reading this. Tori probably freaked out and asked you guys to meet with her to read this, and you did, no questions asked. Okay, maybe a few. So, I did it. I killed myself. I'm gone for good, and nothing can ever bring me back. Some of you are probably kind of happy right now, relieved that I'm gone in a sick kind of way. I've never been anybody important to any of you anyway. What you don't know is that I'm not fully gone. While I'm still _all_ over those train tracks, I have another secret to share. Each one of you is a reason I'm dead. You might not think you had anything to do with it, or me, but you did. All of you have impacted my life negatively in some way, and guess what? I want revenge. You made me feel like I was worthless, so I'm going to make you feel so disgusted with yourself that you can barely look at yourself in the mirror without shuddering. There are 17 people out there who I owe my death to, one for each year of my life. I'll be sending each of you voicemails, texts, packages, emails, reminding you of what you did to me and which reason you were. You can try to ignore me, but you won't be able to, because there's a catch. If you don't read my message, everybody will know what you did to me. Don't ask me how, I have my ways. One last question, Tori. Did you even bother to check the date today?" After the message finished, Andre cleared his throat and coughed. They were all looking awkwardly at each other, and most everyone was staring at Tori.

"What _is _the date today?" Cat asked, voicing the question in everyone's minds. Tori quickly looked at her phone, the blood draining out of her cheeks. Jade felt a little bad for her. First your sister commits suicide and then you find out you're one of the reasons why? Looking up, Jade noticed Tori staring at her. Or rather, her eyeballs were faced towards her, but Tori wasn't really looking at _her. _She was lost in her own world, one Jade was sure didn't contain fluffy bunnies or sunshine.

"Today was her birthday." Tori whispered, turning her head to look at everyone. "Today was her 18th birthday, and I didn't even get her a present."

**I hope I didn't go too into Jade's kinda suckish family life, I just wanted to add in a little bit about her and it turned into a kinda long one. And she seems like she'd exaggerate things in her mind a little, you know?**

**And I don't really know how to write Robbie in this situation, so he's kind of silent in this.. sorry if you like him! There will be a chapter dedicated to him and his reason why!**

**Please review, and thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! It's been what, a month? Sorry for the wait, I wanted this to be up by April 1st, but I had a lot of trouble thinking of a good reason for this character. Also, I was kinda stressed out with this horrible math project, my play, and just school in general, so it was a relief to not have to worry about updating.**

**The chapter is 2,000 words long to make up for the wait. :)**

**Warning: There's a bit of swearing in this, partly because it's in Jade's point of view and I think that she'd use those words easily, and partly because it's part of Trina's reason.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you might recognize, which shouldn't be much, but I'm just covering my bases. Does anyone know if someone's been sued or anything for NOT including a disclaimer?**

It was like nobody breathed for a minute. The gang stood stock still, barely blinking. Even the bartender, who had been eavesdropping, seemed to be surprised.

Looking at his wristwatch, he said, "Sorry kids, but it's almost closing time. Time for you guys to go." Tori frowned, something about him looked familiar.

"But it's only 2 o'clock!" Cat looked at the bartender curiously. "The sign in the front says you're open until 5."

"Well, I'm the boss here. If I say it's closing time then it's closing time." The man said gruffly, frowning and glancing at an envelope on the counter. "Scram!"

Reluctantly, the gang followed, gathering instead at a wilting willow tree near the train tracks.

"How did you not remember her birthday?" Jade asked, rudely curious. She faltered as tears started to stream down Tori's face, awkwardly moving forward to pat her shoulder. "Doesn't she always make some big deal about it, called her birth month or something?"

"Well," Tori choked out, wiping her eyes furiously, "that actually only started 3 years ago, when she was 15. After she got into HollyWood Arts, she got a lot more demanding. She acted like she was superior to us and made sure we noticed it. The only thing that improved about her was her dancing. I actually think her singing got worse! Anyway, since I expected for her to make a big deal out of it, I just never noticed when she didn't." Tori started sobbing, and Jade patted her shoulder again.

"Promise me, guys, that we'll share our reasons with each other. Please?" Tori asked softly.

"I swear." Cat said softly, staring at her feet. After one another, 4 other voices promised the same thing. Turning away, Tori changed the subject.

"Is that bar guy watching us?" 6 pairs of eyes shot towards the windows of the bar and towards the bartender, who looked away suddenly.

"It sure looks like it." Beck said, stepping protectively in front of the girls. "Let's go, guys."

At her house the next evening, Jade pondered her role in Trina's death. What was her part in all of this? Was she the main reason why? She _had _been a bitch to Trina, but she was like that to half of the school, and Trina always seemed to brush it off. She had just started to formulate an idea when her brother interrupted her.

"Jade?" He said squeakily, smiling up at her eagerly. Scowling, she turned to face him. "Why don't you ever smile?" He asked, looking down. Groaning, Jade lifted his head up and smiled brilliantly at him for a second.

"Happy? Now what do you want, squirt?"

"There's a package that came for you."

"Who's it from?"

"It's from that girl you don't like…Torina Vega?"

Jade froze. Could it be? She doubted Tori would send her anything, especially in her state. The girl looked like she could barely think, let alone mysteriously send a package. Tori was addicted to texting, not letters or shit like that.

Forcing herself to smile slightly, she got up from her bed.

"I'll get it. But I'm probably gonna have to go to Vega's anyway, would you mind taking charge of the house while I'm gone?"

"How long will you be? Dad said he's going to be home for dinner tonight." Jade snorted.

"Yeah right. He says that every week, and when's the last time that actually happened, genius?"

"2 months and 11 days ago." He said sulkily.

"There's macaroni and cheese in the fridge, don't eat too much and throw up again. And your mom will be home at 10, don't wait up for me. " Jade said before scurrying out the door, phone in hand.

"She's your mom too!" He shouted back, but Jade ignored him.

While walking, she texted the gang.

"SOS. Meet at Vega's."

Grabbing her purse from the kitchen, Jade fished out her keys and dashed out of the house, almost forgetting the package. Grabbing the small brown box, she hurriedly unlocked her car and clambered in it, unsettled that she had memorized the route from her house to Vega's so well.

By the time she got there, Cat's brother's car and Andre's silver one was already parked outside the Vega residence. Exiting her car, she sniffed the air near Cat's car suspiciously. There was the distinct scent of Axe that permeated the night, causing Jade to sneeze. Robbie was definitely here too. Grabbing the package from the passenger seat, Jade rushed towards the front door, eager to see what was inside the package.

Even before she rang the doorbell, the door opened with a swoosh.

"Hi hi!" Cat said cheerily, ushering her towards the couch. Andre and Tori were seated on one, while Robbie was perching at the corner of another. "Everyone's here but Beck!"

"I see that." Jade commented before shoving Robbie off of the couch and gracefully sitting down. "Does anyone know how long it's going to take him?"

4 people shook their heads. "Ugh." Jade sighed. "His house is closer to here than mine is. He's probably making sure his hair is perfect or something." There was a long silence.

"You know, once my brother-" Thankfully, Cat was interrupted by Beck, who opened the door with a bang.

"Sorry, my dad started being really lame and then my car didn't have any gas and I had to call someone to get a ride.." Beck rambled on for what felt like an eternity.

"Can you just open the box already?" Tori snapped, blushing as everyone stared at her.

Tentatively, Jade pulled the brown package closer to her and began unwrapping it cautiously. Cat and Robbie came over to help, making sure to be very careful. After a few minutes with Andre, Tori, and Beck hovering over them, they were done.

"It's a CD!" Robbie smiled, before taking it out of its case, almost dropping it in the process.

"Robbie!" Tori and Andre exclaimed, and Robbie blushed girlishly as usual. Shaking her head, Jade snatched the CD from him and inserted it into the Vega's DVD player.

Tori turned the TV on, squealing as Trina's face popped up onto the screen.

"Didn't think you'd see me again, huh?" Trina asked, smirking from the screen. In the background you could hear yelling. Frowning, Trina walked over to her bedroom door and slammed it shut. "Sorry, Holly and David get carried away sometimes." She scowled again as the voices grew louder. "But this tape isn't about them. It's about Jade."

Jade shivered, her pale face a shade whiter. She knew it would be about her, it _was _sent to her, but she really, really didn't want to hear this.

"Jade West." Trina said slowly, dragging out the name. "I always suspected you had some sort of weird first name, like Jadelyn, that you shortened. Remember how I always used to try to guess it, back when you were nice to me? We were friends back then, after all, remember? Don't you remember, Jade?" Her voice had tightened and taken on a shrill tone. "I used to ask you that over and over again after all of that shit went down. At first you pretended you didn't know me, but I just kept pushing, and pushing, and _pushing._ Remember, Jade? One day I finally fell over the line I had perched on for so long, and you _snapped _at me. You yelled, and you yelled, and you _yelled._ It seemed like hours had passed with you saying that you had never liked me, that I had deserved what I got, and that I should go to hell. Do you remember that, Jade? There's a reason they call you the Wicked Witch of the West. You know how to hurt people, and when you want to, you _scar_ them. You run your sharp nails _all over _them and once you create that cuts, you don't stop. You wait a little while, and then, just when they're starting to heal, you go back and do it all over again. And that's what you did to me. I spent the rest of Freshman year isolated from my peers, because, even though you hadn't perfected your mean girl reputation yet, you still had a hell of a lot of an influence in 8th grade, even on the freaking Seniors. Wherever I went, I heard 'Freak', 'Slut', 'Whore', 'Pathetic', 'Desperate', and, most often, 'Bitch'. You'd spread rumors about me, all of them involving _the thing,_ but you twisted it, making me the bad guy and you the victim. Remember that, Jade? I'll save the juicy details of the _thing _for now, because honestly, it isn't the reason you're on this list, and I bet everyone's horrified enough for now." Trina grinned, lying down on her bed. "I auditioned for HollyWood Arts to get away from you, and due to my karate skills, I got in. But you and your boy toy didn't let me be, although I would've been more than willing to never speak of the incident and keep my head down. You took charge of HollyWood Arts to and turned everyone against me. I had built up my confidence last summer, and you took me down in one day, calling me names to my face, not sugarcoating anything. It was like you had found all of my scars again and used a knife this time." Trina grinned, staring into the camera. "You're on this list because you ruined my life. You broke me. And now, I hope you're willing to pay the price."

Smirking, Trina clicked a button on the video camera, the picture turning blurry. And the tape was over. Jade took a deep breath. It was like she had been shoved underwater, everything had seemed surreal, and fake. Almost like when you were watching a movie, but harsher, because it was all about your sins.

The rest of the gang seemed to awaken as well, and Tori turned an accusatory glance towards Jade.

"You… you… female dog!" Jade chuckled at Tori's inability to curse. "It isn't funny. You heard what Trina said. You're the reason she's dead." Tori was bristling with fury, and Jade could even see her hair crackle with energy. She looked like a madman, baring her teeth at her. Jade laughed a little more. Tori thought she could take her? Jade had dealt with much worse in her life.

"If you recall, you're a reason she's dead, too. And you're her sister. It must've been something really horrible if she couldn't forgive _you._"

Tori faltered, deflating. Backing off, she collapsed on the fluorescent couch and curled up into a ball. It was clear that a breakdown was imminent.

Moving towards the door, Jade called out, "Beck, do you need a ride?" They needed to talk, and this wasn't the place to do it.

Beck, thankfully catching on to her hint, agreed. "Thanks, Jade."

"Could you give me a ride, too?" Robbie asked hopefully, looking uncomfortably at Tori, who was being comforted by Cat and Andre.

"No." Jade said shortly, before opening the door and slamming it behind her, not bothering to wait for Beck. Stomping to her car, she unlocked the door and clambered into the driver's seat. Beck entered soon after, and she drove the car in silence for a few minutes.

"Should we tell them?" Beck piped up, and Jade knew exactly what he was talking about.

"No! It's not _that_ bad, not bad enough that we feel obligated to tell them before Trina reveals it. I doubt anyone else is going to confess whatever horrible thing they did, and since they did something too, they can't exactly be mad at us." Jade said, foolishly taking her eyes off of the road to look at Beck. Hearing a honk, she quickly turned back to the road.

"But-" Beck started guiltily.

"No. Here's what we do. We tell _no one_. We don't talk about it, we don't talk to people who know even a little thing about it, we don't even _think _of it. We'll deal with it when the time comes, okay?"

"Okay." Beck said, defeated.

And they drove the rest of the way in silence.

**Anon Review Replies:**

**Guest #1 :I know right? Trina really stung them.**

**Guest #2: Yes, this is kind of like PLL. This chapter also had a little connection to PLL with the thing/incident. **

**I know Jade changed after hearing the recording, kind of a lot, and I just want to say that she's pretty mad about the whole thing and feels pretty guilty, which she tries to push away.**

**Who do you want to be next? What do you think the thing/incident is? This had a lot of foreshadowing in it, and tell me any theories you have! Please review and remember, check my profile about information about updates!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry this is a few days late! I was almost done with it on Saturday night, but then I couldn't finish it until tonight, sorry! THANKS SO MUCH for the reviews! I wasn't sure how many I'd get since I didn't update for like forever! :)**

**Oh, and I forgot to mention, this story _will contain _all 17 of Trina's Reasons, so I have to space out the main character's ones! :) **

**Disclaimer: No soy dueño de nada. Yup, I said it in Spanish, courtesy of Google Translate.**

**Warning: This story is rated T for a reason! It's nothing in detail, but there will be a theme of high T things going on in Trina's life..**

**Enjoy!**

Waking up, Tori rubbed her crusty eyes. What had happened?, she wondered, looking down to see that she was on the couch. For a split second she was okay, almost happy, until the crushing weight of what had happened to her sister fell upon her shoulders again. She had spent all night crying and watching that video again and _again_ and again and _again._ Eventually she had asked Andre to hide it so she wouldn't play it anymore and fallen asleep somehow.

Standing, she headed to the bathroom, intent on taking a shower. However, as she gazed down at the small sink in her bathroom, she saw something was on it. Squinting, she picked it up. It was a tape! Underneath it was a tape player thingy, whatever those were called, and her eyes widened. _Trina!_

In a few minutes, at least, that's what it had felt like to her, the rest of the gang was here, she had fully woken up, and she played the tape.

"Remember how I mentioned I built up my confidence the summer before my sophomore year? Do you know why? It had something to do with a little peeping tom. Yes, this reason is Mr. Busey, our creepy neighbor. But, really, my first encounter with him isn't the one that was particularly bad. It was the meetings that came after it that got a little…freaky.

The first time I saw him, he had just moved here, and it was in late May. Holly forced me to bring something to him, so I reluctantly made some kind of cake, which turned out lopsided and burnt, and brought it over to him. It took him a while to open the door, and I heard a lot of fumbling around, but I ignored it and when he finally opened the door, he was all smiles. He invited me inside, and when I looked around, all that was there were boxes upon boxes labeled by state. We talked, him forcing down my awful cake, and by the end of my visit I rather liked him. It was only much later when I found out he wasn't anything like what I thought he was.

It was July 20th, one of the hottest days of summer… You were away, Tori, so you wouldn't remember it, but I was sweating buckets. By the time it was 12 o' clock, it was 106 degrees and rising. David had gone to work that day, his nice air conditioned workspace, and Holly was as a spa retreat for the week. I was all alone, and I got into my bikini and went into the pool in the backyard, trying to cool off. I heard a rustle, and then, a thump. After that I saw the head of Mr. Busey pop out from one of the bushes. It was kind of weird, and I pretended not to notice him staring at me, or rather, at my chest. I closed my eyes, thinking he would go away, and I must've fallen asleep, because when I woke up, it was evening and my skin was all shriveled up from the water. I looked around, but, thank goodness, Mr. Busey had disappeared.

I went to visit him the next day or two. He seemed surprised to see me, because he wasn't wearing a shirt and his grey hair was sticking up all over his head. He let me in, of course, and went to go put on a shirt, hurriedly warning me not to look in one of the rooms, one that was locked with a shiny brass key hanging on a nail next to it. I took this opportunity to look around, not finding anything suspicious. The only weird thing I saw was a pile of woman's clothes in a corner, but I figured it was his niece's or something. He took a while to get ready, and I got so curious, I opened the locked door. I wasn't expecting much, maybe an expensive piece of art or something, but what I saw was much weirder. Photographs lined the floors, the ledges, and the table. They were on every surface imaginable. And they were all of women. Some looked like they were no older than 13, while other girls seemed past 40. There were only about 40 different people in total, each of them having their own corner filled with pictures of them. I wanted to look more closely, but I heard Mr. Busey banging down the steps and ran out, locking the door and sitting down on the living room couch, pretending to inspect a painting on one of the walls. I'm lucky he was so slow, otherwise I would've been caught for sure, and who knows what would've happened! He was nothing shy of a gentleman, being kind and courteous and a good host. I relaxed, and after an hour of talking, I ventured back home.

After another few days, I received a tape in the mail. I wasn't sure who it was from, I found that out later, but I put it into the DVR anyway. What I saw was surprising. It was showing me _my_ house, from a vantage point not far away. My room was in the basement back then, and there was a window near the top of it where you could peer into my room. It was nighttime, and the camera had some kind of glow in the dark effect. It showed the window, or rather, a person crouched near that window. Mr. Busey was spying on me. It was a long window, and as the camera zoomed in, I could see myself dancing crazily inside my room. There was no identifiable sound, but I must've heard something, because I turned and my mouth opened. I shut the music off and started to change. And Mr. Busey kept on watching, that creeper. While I thought it was creepy, I tried to ignore it, because what would confroonting an old man do? Who would believe me anyway? But I found out that wasn't the only time, either. I recieved tapes every Tuesday at 4 pm, showing footage of him following or watching me everwhere I went. Mr. Busey came and watched me almost every night, for hours on end, doing whatever. Sometimes, he even looked through the bathroom window, staring at me _showering_. I never noticed him then, but the tapes showed it, and I couldn't help but wonder why someone was filming this.

And, as sick as it was, it got me kind of confident. I was happy that someone thought I was pretty enough, interesting enough, to watch constantly, and I didn't stop him until I visited his house another day. Again, he went upstairs for a while, and I went back into the locked room. It was pretty much the same, but with one big difference. I was there, too. Right in front of me, on one of those huge picture frames, was me, and surrounding it, were other pictures of me. Pictures of me in my bikini, of me in the kitchen, of me dancing. And suddenly I understood what all of these pictures were. They were of all of the people he had spied on, practically stalked, and now I was one of them.

I was scared. Heck, I was terrified. Was he going to try to rape me? Had he ever drugged me? Why, why was he doing this? I left before he came back downstairs. I left, before he got a chance to 'explain'. I left, and I never went back again. I begged Mom and Dad to switch rooms with me, so they could get the large, scary, basement with possible spiders in it while I got the room next to Tori's, the warm one with the fireplace.

I think Mr. Busey knew I saw it, because I dropped the key on the floor of his kitchen, because I left so suddenly, and because I switched rooms. Sometimes I wondered how many others found out too. And the ones who never knew they were being watched constantly and lived their lives in blissful ignorance until he got bored and moved on.

It all kind of reminded me of a story I heard once, about Mr. Bluebeard and his string of wives who all disappeared after they unlocked the door he specifically told them not to go in. How they saw all of the dead bodies of the wives before him and how he'd kill them too. It sends shivers down your spine, doesn't it?

You still might not understand why Mr. Busey's on this list. He was kind of creepy, heck, that word seems to _define _him, but he didn't hurt me, and I even became confident because of him. Right? Wrong. He did try to hurt me one night, and someone else watched him do it. Consider this a warning to you, Mr. Busey, because if you ever spy on some girl ever again, I'll have you arrested. Wonder how? I still have the tapes of you spying on me, and I'm sure it wouldn't look too good if I got my _contact_ to hand this in too, would it now? So back off, you sick creep!"

And the tape was over, leaving six shocked people in silence.

**So, what did you think? It definitely got a little wacko in a few places, but I really wanted to do this theme, and I hope I didn't make this too disappointing!**

**Baylee- Well, you never know! I mean, I never explicitly said Trina was dead... She could've wimped out and faked the body on the tracks! ;)**

**Lastly, do any of you have any suggestions about any of the reasons/people? I'm using most of the main characters, including Sinjin, Lane, Sikowitz, the gang, Burf (possibly), Helen, Trina's parents...etc. But if you really want someone to be included, mention it! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry this took more than a week! I was even optimistic about updating on Sunday because I had most of the reason written, but... it just didn't really work out. Sorry!**

**Thank you SO MUCH for the reviews, favorites, and alerts! I was nervous you guys wouldn't like the last creepy reason, but I'm so glad you did! :D **

**And have you guys listened to Liz Gillies 'Bam Bam Bam' yet? I'm currently addicted to it, and that was the background noise when I was writing this.**

**Enjoy! :)**

Sinjin Van Cleef was, for the first time in a while, confused. After heading down to his headquarters and polishing everything up (he had been on a vacation of sorts and hadn't visited for almost _3 _days), he had checked all of his usual cameras, which surrounded the school, Jade's house, Tori's house, Beck's RV, Burf's mobile home, and Sikowitz's apartment. Nothing seemed out of place, per say, but something was definitely…off. Trina wasn't home, which he knew she _always_ was on Sunday nights, Tori was all depressed and lying on the couch, Beck was playing a sad song on his guitar, looking tense, and Jade was throwing things at the wall (although that wasn't exactly abnormal behavior for her). Turning off the school's, Sikowitz's, and Burf's cameras, he looked more closely at the screens left.

Trina's room was untouched, the bed made perfectly and her large array of makeup products neat on her vanity.

Tori was almost having spasms on the couch, lying face down and jerking ever so often. Turning up the audio, he heard a few whispered words. "Trina…no…..NO!" The last one she shouted, loud enough to startle herself awake, falling to the ground and getting a nasty bump on her head. Putting on her glasses, she stumbled to the kitchen. She went right for the freezer, but when she pulled out a bag of frozen peas, her face crumpled, and tears started to creep down her face. Sinjin switched screens quickly, uncomfortable from intruding so much into someone's personal life. Not like that had stopped him before, Sinjin smirked, before watching Jade on the screen intently.

She had been crying too, he realized with a shock. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her dark eyeliner was horribly smeared. Since when did Jade cry? He had been watching her for three years now, and he'd only seen her in tears twice, and both times were because of Beck. If he'd hurt her… Although he was (kind of) over Jade, and he and Beck were tight now, Sinjin was still a bit protective of his first love.

Frowning, he switched the camera to Beck's RV. Beck was still playing his guitar, belting out the lyrics to some old 80's song about regret and taking chances. Beck was cool and all, but sometimes Sinjin really questioned his taste in music. After listening for a few more minutes, it became clear he wasn't going to learn anything, and, with a sigh, he closed down his camera system and pulled up his Twitter, Slap page, and email, trying to get himself updated with all of the going-ons in social media. He'd just finished reading about an online fight two celebrities, Shelby Marx and some redhead who looked a bit like Cat Valentine, had had when a notice popped up.

'New email from Trina Vega' it read.

Opening the file, he saw 17 files. The first one was labeled with 'Why I Committed Suicide' and after that were 16 others listing Reason #1, #2, and so on. The only words the document had was, in all capital letters, 'Read _all_ of them. I'm watching you, and I'll know if you don't.'

Before opening any of the files, Sinjin turned his cameras back on. More specifically, the ones surrounding his house. In one of them, a dark, hooded figure with binoculars watched the house. Shuddering, Sinjin opened the file, making sure to turn it on loud and make a big display of putting on his headphones.

When he got to the third file, what he heard shocked him.

"Some things make you feel invincible, like you're on top of the world and can never fall down. For me, that was singing. I know, I'm not the best singer, but that isn't really my fault, now is it, Sinjin? Actually, my singing voice isn't horrible, although I admit, I know I'm not the best. You never thought you'd hear me being modest, did you?Well, you'd probably never think I got blackmailed either. But I was. And I'm pretty sure you can guess who. You and your sister Courtney always were a little freaky, I admit, but I never thought you'd do something to me.

You sent a tape to me just after sophomore year started. I'd never talked to you, only smiled briefly at you when you were doing the tech work for my audition, and when you came up to me one day, discreetly handed me a tape, and left, I was curious. I never should've opened it. I should've thrown it away the second you handed it to me. It probably wouldn't have stopped you, but maybe, just maybe, you would've forgotten about it, decided I wasn't worth making another copy. It was a video of me, throwing up into the toilet.

I was sick that day, having eaten some spoiled cake, and I was throwing up at random times all day. I wasn't bulimic or anorexic then, just sick, but you… You edited the tape, making it look like I had forced myself to throw up. But you didn't stop there. No, you also got footage of me going into a bar, which was owned by your big brother, I might add, and drinking. It was iced tea,, I swear, but you made it look colored, like I was drinking underage and I knew no one would believe me if I told them otherwise. At the end, your voice, crackly and low, warned me. You warned me to back off, to stop singing well, and to act badly, otherwise you'd hand this into the school. I couldn't get expelled! I thought then, eyes wide.

Maybe it would've been a blessing, a ticket out of that hellhole, but I couldn't let go of the only thing that made me special! So I did it. I never sang well again. And I mean _never_. Even in the shower, or when I thought I was alone, because you could be watching at any moment, and you'd probably find something even worse to blackmail me with. Sometimes you pretended to have a crush on me, but only I knew it was you taunting me, you knew my secret, and whenever we were alone, you whispered things that you would do to me if I ever sung or acted well again. In public, I treated you like I would anyone else below my standards, which was pretty much everyone, and tried to forget the blackmail. It never worked, though, and it was all I could do to maintain any semblance of control around you. It's a miracle I tolerated you at the Prome and whenever you did technical work for me. Half the time all I wanted to do was scream at you. I guess I still had a bit of acting talent left after all.

You never actually told me why you did it, and, honestly, I don't want to know. But you were fawning over Jade even then, and my theory is, you did it for her. Maybe I was threatening to her somehow, or you were just desperate to get her attention and you knew she hated me. But really? It doesn't matter. _None _of it matters except that I did what you said and ruined any chance of a big break. I know what you're thinking. I lived for 3 years in submission to a weak nerd whose only friend is his sister? I tried to get that footage away, I really did. And I got 2 copies away from you, you didn't know what hit you that day.

But by then, it had been half a year and my vocal chords were ruined. I never remembered how to sing well after that, and my acting? Well, I'd never had much talent there anyway, and the harder I tried, the worse I seemed. Even now, I still don't know if you have any more copies… But I wouldn't put it past you to edit some more footage to threaten me with. At least now you never can, asshole."

**And thanks for the suggestions on who I could add in! I did include a few, but it's amazing how little 17 reasons can become. I'm using Trina's mom and dad as separate reasons, although their reason is combined.**

**Also, this is kind of my head canon for creepy Sinjin. He's always watching people, and he uses his information against them. I just thought it'd be fun to write, and it was!**

**Please tell me what you think. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I am SO sorry. I did not think it would take this long to write it. But one of my friends just suddenly stopped talking to me, and I have homework, and drama... To make up for it, it's a bit longer than usual, at 1,500 words.**

** Thank you so much for the reviews! I was a bit disappointed at only getting 2 reviews, but then over the past few days I got 2 more, which really motivated me. Thank you to Invader Johnny, Jeremy Shane, Bade569, and GothicGillian for reviewing!**

**I really hope you like it, because I worked really hard on it!**

Walking through the halls on Monday, Tori strode up to her locker and opened it deftly. Sunglasses covered her bleary eyes, and, taking them off, she looked around warily. Why wasn't anyone looking at her, whispering about Trina's demise? Running a head through her straightened hair, she gathered her books before glancing around again. Did no one care enough to even mention Trina?

"Nobody knows Trina's dead, so stop looking around like an idiot." Jade hissed to Tori, with her hair up in a messy bun. Trying to make sense of what Jade was saying, Tori willed her sleep deprived brain to wake up.

"Why not?" Tori asked after a minute.

Rolling her eyes, Jade smirked. "Why would they? It's not like anybody would've tried to contact her over the weekend."

"Should we tell everyone? What are they going to say? Is it better to keep it a secret?" Tori blurted out.

"Relax, Vega. I've made all the arrangements." Jade smiled mischievously and stalked away, but even Tori could see that the glint in her eyes was gone. Or, at least, that's what she thought, especially after she saw a piece of paper flutter out of Jade's back pocket. Casually walking towards the piece of paper, she bent down and picked it up. The words

'BULLY' stood out at her, a glaring red on the white paper.

"What's that?" Cat asked suddenly from behind her. Tori jumped up, books flying everywhere. "What does B-U-L-L-Y stand for? Is it some kind of organization? My brother belongs to an organization, but-"

"I have to go, Cat." Tori said, gathering her stuff up hurriedly before rushing away, leaving a pouting Cat in her wake.

After 10 periods and 4 unsuccessful attempts to find out what Jade had told her, Tori was tired and frustrated. Stifling a yawn, she almost didn't hear the beginning of Helen's speech on the speaker.

"-any of you know the..loud Trina Vega. Well, after being informed by a reliable, although surprising source, it has been discovered that she has committed the grave act of suicide due to bullying, a most unfortunate thing. Please join us in a moment of silence for the school's loss."

The murmurs that had begun immediately stopped as everyone was quiet for a minute. After that, though, the room was ablaze with talk. , the unenthusiastic chemistry teacher looked relieved as she slumped down in her seat.

Shifting in her seat, all eyes turned to Tori.

"Excuse me, but I really must go." Tori rushed out of the room, set for the parking lot.

After thinking for a moment, she opened her locker, and a CD fell out. Picking it up, she read the title. 'Reason #4', it said. Frowning, she tossed it into her bag and headed for Andre's car, which she knew had the keys still stuck in the ignition. Ignoring the fact that she would be breaking the law by driving without an adult with a driver's license in the car, she climbed in and put the CD in. Turning the ignition, she put her foot on the gas and began driving.

"Lindsey DeVonn. Were we ever really friends, or was it all just in my head? You must've never really liked me if you could ditch me so quickly. Do you even remember what class we had together in sophomore year? It was Health, if you actually forgot. We saw each other there, in the 2nd period of my first day at HollyWood Arts, but we didn't really meet until we were at the girl's bathroom later that day. It was lunchtime, and after the big bad Jade and ruined any chance of me having friends in 4 short hours, I had nowhere to sit. Everyone shunned me, and the ones who didn't looked…uneasy at the prospect of me sitting with them. And I got it. No one wanted to be unpopular on the first day of school. Also, everybody had formed their own cliques during freshman year, so there were only a few loners that didn't care about their reputation, but all of them were too intimidating for me to approach. Hovering in the courtyard, I heard someone say, "Fat ass," quietly, and I couldn't help but be paranoid they were talking about me. My jaw clenched and I tossed my lunch into the garbage before escaping to the bathroom. Sinjin, you were in one of them, probably hoping to hear some juicy rumor and follow up on it using blackmail. You were in one of the stalls, vomiting up a storm in there. I'd always hated that sound, and as I entered a stall, the smell became too much and I retched as well. After a few minutes, all was quiet, and I ventured out of my stall, glad to see that Sinjin had disappeared.

You were at the sink wiping your mouth, and as I looked at you, you smiled at me.

"You're a binger too?" You asked as if I knew what that meant. When you saw my puzzled look, you elaborated. "You throw up your food on purpose, you know, binge?"

I didn't, but I didn't want you to know that. You were the only person who had been half friendly to me since I had gotten to HollyWood Arts, and I wasn't going to just let that go.

"Yeah." I smiled back, rinsing my mouth out at the sink. "I'm a little too big in some places."

"Same." You gestured to your stick thin body as I pretended to know what you were talking about. "My other friends just don't understand, and they tried to stage an 'intervention' once. Now they think I quit. You probably know how that is."

"Actually, I just started. Nobody knows about it yet." I said truthfully, staring at the tiled floor.

"Don't tell anyone." You ordered, smiling, before grabbing my hand. "Let's go somewhere." I followed you like the eager puppy I was, reveling in the first taste of friendship I'd had for a while. We went to some Chinese place, getting heaps and heaps of lo mein that we stuffed ourselves with. As I went to look for my wallet, you whispered for me to leave, that you'd pay the bill. So I did, even then suspecting something. It was only a few days later, when I tried to go back to that restaurant, that I found out you'd dined and ditched, leaving me to get escorted to the police office to pay a fine. I never mentioned it to you, but you owe me $600.

Even after that, I still hung out with you, but never at school. In Health you sat behind me, and every once in a while, during a particularly embarrassing Health lesson, you'd tap my shoulder and giggle with me at all of the red faces around us. But when we hung out after school, it couldn't really be classified as girl time. We talked, and went to the mall once or twice, but mainly, we ate. And ate and ate and ate. You had tons of food stored in your mansion of a house, and I brought some too, and we ate until our stomachs ached. Then we threw it all up, of course. It was kind of exhilarating, doing this, and only one other person knowing about it. It was like when I was little, and got away with not going to bed at 9:30 because my parents were always busy. But you were a bully. You never missed an opportunity to mock me after a month or so. You'd never do it blatantly, but you made jokes and implied things, said little set-downs that ruined my day. I got thinner, but in all the wrong places, and after a few months, all I really wanted was to be a loner again. So when I turned your invitation to binge down one day, you were shocked. You didn't ask me to stay, or suggest we do something else, though. You just said okay, in a strangled little voice and walked away. But it didn't end there, did it? You whispered to your friends about my _disease_, of how I was a binger and probably a cutter, and how you'd tried to help but just couldn't. But that wasn't how everyone found out, now was it Cat? But that's another reason, for another day. Let me just say this. Lindsey, you and Cat are a lot alike."

Rubbing her eye with one hand, Tori's anger grew. Why had all of these horrible things had to happen to Trina? Why couldn't someone else get stuck with all of this?

She almost didn't notice when she drove off of the road.

**I hope you liked the little twist at the end! And I got the idea of Lindsey and Trina binging together from a book I read a while ago, although it was quite different, and I can't remember the name of it. :( And Lindsey was the 'friend' of Trina's in Beggin' on Your Knees whose heart got broken by Ryder... Which will come up in another reason! **

**Please review and tell me what you thought!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I AM SO SO SORRY. I love you all so much for your reviews and your support. I can't believe that this story has almost 20 favorites and alerts, and 38 reviews! Thank you all so much. I've had a lot going on, and I'm so sorry this is 2 weeks late. On the bright side, I got half of the parent's reasons written! **

**This is dedicated to you guys, the reviewers, because without your support, I would've taken a lot longer to write any part of this story.**

**This chapter is a little different, but I like it. Tell me if you do too! **

x.

'Oww,' Tori thought as her shoulder slammed into the steering wheel.

Did this really have to happen to her? Tori wondered, right before she blacked out.

xx.

"Tori?" Cat called, looking around the parking lot as if expecting her to pop out at any moment. "Where are you?" Munching on some bibble, Cat set out on a search for her dear friend who had lost her sister. Her brother was waiting for her, and would soon become impatient and throw a fit, but she didn't care right now. What was important was finding Tori.

xxx.

André listened intently as he called Tori, trying to get a response. It was his seventh time calling her, and soon, it would be his seventh time leaving a voicemail. He knew something was wrong, after all, she had taken off with his car, but where was she?

xxxx.

Robbie asked frantically around the school, wandering the halls."Hey, have you seen Tori today?" He asked a girl he knew was friends with her, and when she looked embarrassed, after all, she was talking to _him_, and shook her head no, he moved on. Someone had to have seen her, right?

xxxxx.

Jade took off in her black convertible, going towards the Vega house first. That was the most likely place, right? On her way there she passed by a car in a ditch that looked suspiciously like Andre's, but ignored it. She didn't have time for that.

xxxxxx.

In the end, it was Beck that found her. Normally calm, cool, collected Beck spotted the car crash and went to investigate, recognizing the license plate. And it was the ambulance that he had frantically called who found him, hunched over the figure of Tori Vega's unconscious body.

xxxxxxx.

"Do you think she wants to hear a story?" Cat piped up as they watched Tori in her hospital bed.

"I don't think she'd want one even if she was awake." Jade said bluntly, patting Cat's head.

"I have something even more interesting." Robbie said, going to Tori's bedside. Her phone lay there, a crack running down the side. But more importantly, there was an audio message from Trina, labeled "Reason 5". The only thing between them and it was Tori's password.

"One second, I got this." Jade said as she swiftly typed in Tori's password.

The rest of the gang stared at her in disbelief.

"How did you know Tori's password? She doesn't trust any of us with it." Beck asked warily and Jade sat primly next to him, phone in hand.

"I have my ways." She smirked deviously. "Do you want to hear it or not?"

And 5 pairs of ears listened hopelessly as the message began to play.

"Daniel. You were the first boy I dated and _trusted_ after Beck, and you were the first one that cheated on me. I don't know why I did, though, because, _just like Lindsay_, I was your little secret. Someone you wouldn't dare talk to in public, let alone kiss them. Someone you wouldn't invite to your lunch table, rather than me sitting alone or pestering a few 'friends' that were nice enough to not talk about me to my face while you sat with your friends and flirted with a pretty older brunette who didn't seem to have any clothes that actually covered her body.

Remember me, Trina Vega? I hope you didn't forget, because now, you never will.

I bet Tori didn't know that you came to HollyWood Arts before 'Sherwood', or should I say, The Shirley's House for Troubled Teens. Yes, for all of you who didn't know, Daniel and Tori went to a disability school, for teenagers with non-severe psychological problems. Torus had anger issues, and still has a short temper, and Daniel has mild split personality disorder. I wish I had known that before….But I was there for you when you got shipped off to that horrible place, and I was the one who introduced you to stunning, _sparkling_, Tori. What a fool I was, to think that you wouldn't cheat on me when I wasn't there, watching your every move. Instead, I hounded you with phone calls and texts and visited you whenever I could, ignoring Tori. I chose you instead of Tori, and you chose Tori instead of me. Don't think I don't remember how you always defended her when I complained about how she was taking all of my parents attention, and when I saw you making out with Tori when I came to give you a surprise visit one day. I guess I just have a habit of choosing unfaithful guys to date.

But I made the mistake of not confronting you, and instead acted as I had before, trying desperately to win you back, to do something to make you choose me over Tori. But I was just making you pull farther away, and I knew it.

Jealousy is an evil, bitter thing, though, and it creeps into you until it's all you see. I was obsessed with you, spending hours looking up ways to woo you and stalking your Facebook. I sent you expensive gadgets, little knickknacks, and evidence of my love for you. I bared my soul to you when I visited, telling you my hopes and dreams, my selfish wishes for Tori to be gone, for me to be popular, for Jade to just die somewhere. I told you about my fears, about how terrified I was of being fat, how I starved myself. But you did almost nothing to comfort me, patting my shoulder every once in a while and kissing me greedily when I paused. I'm pretty sure that's the only reason that you were still dating me, actually. Innocent little Tori, still a freshman, probably didn't let you go much farther than a peck on the lips.

After almost failing numerous tests and quizzes, I finally came to my senses and snapped the hell out of it. I didn't visit you that day. Or the next week. I still thought of you, a _lot_, but I was getting over you. Kind of.

For once, you called me. _To break up_. I guess you got bored of me, and when Tori came home to visit during Thanksgiving, I wasn't all that surprised to hear all about her new boyfriend Danny. _Who she'd been dating for a month_.

I cried that night, for a while, looking at the few pictures of us and tearing them up. But, then I got angry. Full of rage and the hurt of betrayal, I did the one thing I could do to possibly hurt you. I told Tori right before she went back. And those anger issues? They hadn't gone away yet. So I don't know for sure, but, according to the principal there, your face got pretty clawed up. Tori never said anything about it though, and she didn't talk to me until Christmas.

So thank you Daniel, for teaching me a very valuable lesson that has proved nothing but true for me. Boys are not to be trusted, and especially not to fall in love with. Too bad I made an exception for one musically talented boy. But that comes later. Cat Valentine, I hope you've prepared your pretty little self, because you're next."

Cat's mouth made an O and she collapsed into the chair, Jade and André holding her on either side.

"It's not over yet, guys. Not even close."

And with that, the message was over.

**What did you think? I know it's not all that long, only 1.3k words, but I'm pretty happy with it! Although I think part of the reason was a little weird, I don't know how it feels to be cheated on, and wasn't quite sure how to write that part.**

**Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't know what this is. It's kind of a mess and Cat's OOC and confusing and it's all a little weird, but I hope you like it! Thank you so much for the 7 reviews and all of the new alerts and favorites! I read all of them multiple times and it gives me a little insight on what to write next, and just in general. Dream-to-reality123 brought up a good point by saying that the discs just showing up were really convenient, and. looking back, I agree! Let's just say, though, that there's more to that than meets the eye. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, okay!**

x.

There were no more messages from Trina for days. Weeks, even. It was enough to drive a girl crazy, Cat thought as she stared into her locker two weeks later. Looking into her mirror, she applied another layer of pink lip gloss before slamming her locker shut. She'd get her books after first period. Mrs. Cornish, her Biology teacher, didn't expect her to understand anything anyway, which was equal parts a blessing and a curse. Smiling airily, she skipped up to Beck at his locker.

"Hi hi!" She giggled as Beck shot up like a rocket. He was so cute when he was surprised! She silently scolded herself. Even though they weren't together, Beck was still Jade's. But at the moment, she couldn't bring herself to care as she remembered how the rude girl had been ignoring her ever since Trina died. Smiling, she tilted her head and twirled her curled hair, the classic flirting move.

Beck looked at her strangely, before smiling and pulling something out of his locker. "I have a present for you." Cat looked at him excitedly when he pulled out a bag… of bibble? She let herself frown for one split second before pasting the biggest smile she could on. Just because she didn't like bibble _that_ much didn't mean that she couldn't appreciate a thoughtful gift for no apparent reason, right? Eating a few pieces of the bibble to appease a hopeful looking Beck, she smiled sweetly before skipping, yes, _skipping_ away.

On her way to class, she passed by a concerned looking Lindsey next to a locker spray painted with the word 'bulimic'. Well, that was interesting, she thought, flipping her hair over a shoulder.

xx.

Her classes passed as usual, Cat 'forgetting' her homework in half of them, and she relaxed until lunch. That was when the interrogation started.

"What were you doing with Beck before school?" Jade asked, glaring.

"Just talkin'." Cat said innocently. "Wanna hear a joke?" She smirked internally, knowing her subject change would infuriate the girl.

"_What were you talking about?_" Jade asked intently, eyes glued to Cat.

"Stuff. He gave me a gift! It's not even my birthday!" Cat said before getting up, leaving a confused and jealous Jade behind. "I have to go meet up with him now, but I'll text you!"

"WHAT?"

xxx.

After getting a ride home from her brother, Cat headed off to the mall, eager to listen to gossip and look at clothes. When she got back, (with two bags full of clothes and a pocket full of secrets) she checked the mail, expecting just some bills and a note from her brother's teacher about his _unusual/strange/unnatural_ behavior, she got a disk instead. Her stomach turned, and, expecting something bad, she looked at it with dread, seeing Reason #6 written on it in thin black pen.

Gulping, she headed inside, feeling nauseous. Putting it into her pink DVD player, she pressed Play.

"Who would've thought such a sweet, innocent girl was full of secrets? Probably too many to count, and I pity the poor soul that tries. In this case, Robbie Shapiro, the puppet master… But that's another story. You were only loud when you wanted to be, and when you weren't… It was like you weren't there at all. You put your redred hair up under a hat, and you listened. What for, exactly? Some big, juicy rumor you could talk about? Gossip about one of your so-called friends that you could tell them and pretend to stop so you could act heroic? Did you just want to have something you could hold over everyone's heads in case they betrayed you?

Why did you do it? You pretended to be friends with me, used me like an old toy you never asked for.

You just wanted me for my stories, little secrets you could carelessly say when there was a lull in conversation. You were nice to me, at least nicer than the rest of your little gang was, to my face, but it was when my back was turned that the lies and malice poured out. You just like being liked and included, don't you? I can't blame you for that, who dislikes attention? After all, you were bullied as a child. Whoops, you didn't want anybody to know that, did you? I only know because I was in school with you. I was walking home when I saw you and Molly on the sidewalk. I'm not saying I'm innocent, that I shouldn't have tried to stop them, I simply didn't know how to."

It was then that the world seemed to stop spinning on its axis. Trina knew? She knew and didn't tell anyone? Cat knew too, she knew of a deeper story. She knew about nights spent locked in her room crying, secretly stealing her mother's concealer so her teachers wouldn't ask about the bruises, about the little girl who had been told she was worthless too many times for her to not believe it. Molly had been the bane of her existence, and it had been a miracle when she'd finally moved away during 4th grade.

Lost in her thoughts, Cat paid no attention to the words being spoken until they stopped. Fumbling for the remote, she rewinded it with trepidation.

"But that's how easy it is to say something that could ruin someone else. And you did just that, over and over again. You never really liked me, I doubt you truly like a lot of the people you talk to. You act like life's all sunshine and rainbows, but inside you're full of lies and malice. You built up all of your hate inside, and now, you unleash it. Do you feel power when you spill someone's secrets? A sort of sick pleasure about how you're the chess master and they're just the pawns, oblivious to the game they're playing? Well, I escaped the chess board, and at least now you can't spill any of my other secrets, because my _contact_ knows everything, and if you tell anyone, this tape is going public and the whole world will know what a liar you are.

I told you my secrets, trusting you in a moment of rashness, and what do you do? You tell everyone else, spreading it across your web of informants until everyone's talking about it.

Oh, poor Trina, she can't eat the tasty pizza Festus is selling because she's anorexic. Oops, pretend I didn't say that! You said, or:

One time my brother participated in a pie eating contest, but even after he won, he just couldn't stop eating! Good thing Trina, you know, Trina Vega, doesn't have that problem, she doesn't eat at all!

I'm surprised everyone believes your 'brother' stories, because I know for a fact that the only brother you've ever had was a still born, who never got to live life at all.

I pity you, because you're just fooling yourself.

Your locker is covered with bright locks and sparkling, crimson keys that match your hair. Only you know what it really means, but if I had to guess, I think it represents all of the secrets you carry with you, locked up in your mind.

I trusted you, you know. And you, just like everyone else, betrayed me. But that's what I get for being so naïve, right? You're just lucky you learned your lesson earlier than most.

As for the rest of you, here's some advice. Don't trust a girl who's smarter than you. Because Cat Valentine is far from dumb."

Fury built up inside Cat, listening to the tape. Trina didn't know her! She didn't know her life, and had no right to pretend she did! Glaring at the DVD player, she took the disk out and snapped it in half, and then, in fourths. Blood dripped from her hand, but she didn't care, opening her bedroom window and tossing one piece out into the bushes. Another two she threw in the trash. And she put the last one on her shelf, just as a reminder. Nobody else would ever get to hear that recording, she thought vindictively, before hot tears of shame and grief started making their way down her face.

xxxx.

"Cat!" Tori called, searching the girl's bathroom. "I know you're in here! The janitor told me he saw you come in!"

Cat sighed. Tori had been looking for her for 2 periods, ever since lunch, and so far Cat had been successfully staying one step behind her. Until now, that was. Curse her small bladder!

"Hey Tor!" She exclaimed, flushing the toilet and opening the stall door. Tori hugged her, dragging her out of the bathroom.

Suddenly, she turned serious. "I found something." Tori held up 4 taped together pieces of a disk, and read the note on it.

"It seems that Cat has had a little accident, but no worries, I have another copy! – Trina"

Cat stared at it in disbelief. How had Trina done this? And, not for the first time, she wondered if Trina was actually dead..

Rushing to her locker, Tori pulled out a disk, with Reason #6 written on it. In thin black pen. "I got this at lunch, too."

Feeling a dizzying sense of déjà vu, Cat pulled out her pink Gatorade and gulped down a few sips.

Just then, the second bell rang for 10th period.

"We're late for class, gotta go Tori!" She shouted before running to her dance class, leaving an even more confused Tori behind.

**I felt that this was kinda an awkward place to stop, but it seems too rushed if I add more in otherwise. Not sure how the next chapters gonna go... But the good news is my school and after school activities are winding down, and I have more time to write! BUT I have a tendency to let my mind wander, and my mom yells at me a lot for going onto the computer too much, but the next chapter will hopefully be a bit sooner than this one!**

**Please tell me what you thought!**


	10. Chapter 10

***Looks around nervously* Long time no see! SO sorry for the 19 day wait, I was really blocked on this chapter. First, I wasn't sure who I wanted the reason to be, then who to write it as, and overall, I like how this turned out, but I feel like I should've done another character instead...**

**I've been looking at colleges, trying to hang out with friends, doing SAT practice and stuff like that during summer, and I kinda slacked off the first few weeks, so I didn't have much time.**

**On the bright side, we are SO close to 50 reviews! You guys are darling, and your support for this fic is amazing.**

**This is almost 2k words, a few hundred longer than other chapters, to make up for the wait a little!**

**Oh, and you might wanna look back at the last chapter, when you learn Cat's reason, for part of the story. You'll know when. ;)**

x.

After 3 broken ribs, a sprained ankle, and 1 and a half weeks in the hospital, Tori was finally all better. Too bad the same couldn't be said for Andre's car. Her parents had paid for the damages, thankfully, and everything was back to normal.

Well, almost. Cat was avoiding her. After finding the reason about Cat, she had tried to find out why Cat hadn't told her, told anyone. Tori hadn't listened to the tape yet, not wanting to without talking to Cat, but the temptation was getting to be too much. But she had waited almost a week and needed to know!

Finally, she gave in and invited the others over to watch it, getting a pint of ice cream out. She had a feeling this was gonna be a rough one.

xx.

"Holy shit." Jade said afterwards, eyes wide. She seemed to have a new respect for the short redhead that wasn't shared by the others.

"Tell me about it." André drawled, surprise in his voice.

Tori and Robbie just sat there in shock. Cat? Innocent, sweet Cat?

Jade, yes. Even Tori, maybe. But Cat? Tori had a feeling they didn't know their little friend that well after all.

xxx.

The next day, Tori made sure to arrive early, waking up at 4 a.m. and asking early-riser Jade to drive her to school. Cat had been arriving early for weeks, and this time, Tori was determined to get some answers from her.

"I don't see her, Vega." Jade said as they got there, searching the parking lot. Granted, there weren't many places to hide, but Tori had insisted they be thorough.

"Well, look harder!" Tori hissed as they entered the practically deserted school. Tori didn't even think most of the teachers were there.

Sighing, she thought fondly of her fluffy, soft bed…..

"Tori!" Jade exclaimed. "Look!"

They didn't have to look long, though, because after a few minutes, they saw Cat skip down the stairs, in her favorite Fazzini heels.

Her face seemed sad, and Tori almost felt bad for what they were about to do.

_1,2,3.. now, _she whispered to Jade, who rushed up to tackle the unsuspecting artificial redhead.

Hand over her mouth, Jade dragged her into the janitor's closet, where Tori was waiting, and locked the door behind them.

"Hi Jade, Tori! Why are we in the closet? Is this a closet party?" Cat spoke quickly, giggling nervously.

"Do you want to tell us why you were spreading rumors about Vega?... I mean, Trina?" Jade questioned.

Darting a glance at Tori, Cat rushed for the secret entrance to the library.

Tori blocked her.

"You watched the tape?" Cat asked, her voice faint.

Tori looked angrily at Cat. Didn't she realize how horrible she'd been?

Catching her glare, Cat was instantly on the defensive. "So what? I told people Trina's little secret. What's wrong with that? Haven't you ever spread a rumor? Keep in mind, neither of you are exactly innocent either."

"But why didn't you tell us?" Tori was betrayed, and hurt.

"I was ashamed, okay? I knew whatever was on that tape wasn't good, and I didn't want you guys to see how you don't know me at all! Remember what the last line was? 'Don't trust a girl who's smarter than you.' And, even though you think I'm the stupidest of the group, I'm not." Cat smiled creepily, sending chills down Tori's spine.

Just then, there was a creak, and Cat was back to normal. "Oh, look! Someone's here! Do you think they'd be interested in a pajelehoochoo?"

And with that, she unlocked the door and sprinted out of the closet, leaving a bewildered Tori and Jade behind.

"I know you're touchy about language and all that, but I have to ask." Jade said. "What the hell happened?"

For once, Tori had no answer.

xxxx.

Later that day, she heard Cat, who had stopped avoiding them and was pretending everything was fine, gasp as she entered Sikowitz's class.

In an instant Tori was there. "What? What happened?"

Sikowitz was passed out on the floor, and no matter how many times Robbie tried CPR, which was as awkward as it sounded, Jade slapped him, and Tori poked him, he wouldn't move. Beck was waiting outside for the ambulance, and André and Cat had gone to get principal Helen.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Robbie asked. There was no answer.

xxxxx.

The next Saturday, exactly 3 weeks, 1 day, and 8 hours and around 34 minutes after she found out Trina had died, (not that Tori was counting or anything,) she got a letter.

There was nothing written on the front, so she didn't recognize who it was from until she opened it. It was a copy of a handwritten letter, and on the top it said, 'To Tori and friends'.

Realizing what it was, she called the gang over.

Only Cat, André, and Robbie came, as Beck and Jade were 'having some alone time' as Beck had told her when he declined, and 'having wild, kinky sex', as Jade had described when _she _declined.

"Can I read it out loud?" Robbie asked.

Looking strangely at him, Tori replied. "Okay.."

"I always liked you, Erwin Sikowitz, even though you were a little weird. I figured you were just born that way, maybe dropped on your head as a baby, but soon I figured out it was for another reason entirely. More often than not, you were high on d.r.u.g.s. To everyone else who knows him, doesn't that make a lot of sense? You were always drinking out of a coconut, doing weird things and generally being kind of… out of it. Most of what you did was harmless, like as writing strange sayings on the board or doing abnormal acting exercises. Even though you didn't have the best morals, and yes, I'm talking about the 'Great Ping Pong Scam' as well as other things, but you taught efficiently and I thought you liked me.

I was wrong.

If you liked me, why would you lie? WHY WOULD YOU LIE?

When Cat and Beck and Jade and André asked about how I got in, you lied. You spun a story, about woefully untalented me, and you, the unfortunate rotten coconut drinker. You could've told them the simple truth, that you had no clue, but you decided to make your own story, and give it a little spark, a little flare, wanting them perched on the edge of their seats, waiting for more. Well, your little acting trick worked then, but it won't work anymore.

Let me tell you exactly how I got in, listeners. It was the day of the audition, and I was going in for mine, the last one for the day. When I went into the Black Box Theatre, you were passed out on the table, the principal was bleary eyed and drinking a gallon of caffeine, and the rest of them either had horrible headaches or were asleep, with their heads in their hands.

I sang the song I'd written myself with a choreographed dance. It was loud and flashy, as I'd been trying to make a lasting impression on the judges. Back then, my voice wasn't bad either, and the principal and the only other one who was awake told me that, _if _I left right then and didn't mention how he was hung over to anyone who would do anything about it, I was in.

It's not just that, though, was it? In junior year, I auditioned for tens upon tens of plays, musicals, even little skits that would be performed in a basement with maybe 10 audience members. In my résumé, I listed you as a referral. I know I wouldn't be considered in most of the plays, but after 6 months of this and _no offers _at all, even to be an extra, I knew something was wrong. I started eating less, working out more, so I could be skinnier so maybe people would give me a chance. I skipped the tasty piece of cake on my birthday, drank only water and forced myself to eat celery and other 'healthy' foods. But even after losing considerable weight that I didn't need to lose, I didn't get any parts.

So I called one up. Specifically, the producer of the musical Jawbreaker, which I had auditioned for the role of the dead girl, Liz. The woman told me my audition was fine, and that, although she wouldn't have cast me as Liz, she would've offered me a very minor role in the play. Until, she called up my referrals. More specifically, you. And apparently, you told me a very interesting story about me. How I was unable to perform onstage because of a very _crippling _fear of performing in front of large audiences, called badactressitis. _bad actress itis. _How people believed you when you told them that, I don't know, but for some reason it worked. It scared people off, and without my knowing it, because apparently I was, 'very embarrassed about it', and how I'd arrive late to rehearsals and even back out because of my _crippling_ condition.

Is any of that the makings of a good teacher? If I confronted you, I knew you'd tell me it was for my own good, that I would've failed and embarrassed myself horribly, so I didn't tell you how I knew.

Instead, I auditioned for even more roles, _without _you as a referral, and guess what? I got a small role, and several parts as an extra.

I proved to myself that I could be something, without any help. Even though that only lasted for a few months, before I began trying too hard, failing auditions again, and getting insulted by people I liked, I should thank you for that.

But I won't because you won't appreciate it, won't try to fix your mistakes. You'd just forget about it anyway.

So screw you, Erwin Sikowitz, for needlessly hurting a girl who'd been hurt enough during her life. And P.S, I was the one who took all of your coconuts and the weed stored in them.

Lots of hate, Trina"

**By the way, Cat just found out that she had to live with her mean relatives the day after she received the reason, and she is living at the school right now. I just added that in so it would be slightly more canon, and I doubt there'll be other mentions of it, but if I mention her at her Nana's at all, all of that happened outside of the story.**

**Also, I've written 2 oneshots for different fandoms, so check them out!**

**I thought the part where they confront Cat and the last few sentences a bit weak, but that's just me. What do you think? Is it realistic or OOC? Tell me!**

**And the 50th and 55th reviewers will get shoutouts and a preview for the next chapter, while all other reviewers will also get a (possibly shorter) preview. Some of you may think it's bribing, but I just wanted to make up for the longest and most un-needed wait this story has seen.**

**Review please! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey, guys! Sorry it's been a little while... I was hoping I could finish at least MOST of the story during the summer, but I'm just really lazy, and I apologize for the somewhat longer wait for chapters. I love this story, but I feel so stressed when I have to write because I don't want to make you guys wait a million years for another chapter.**

**MASSIVE shoutout to Invader Johnny, , and victoriousandicarlysky for being my 50th, 55th, and 57th reviewers. :) Thank you so much for 7 reviews, and 24 favs and alerts. I don't even have 24 (good) friends, so this is quite an accomplishment for me. **

**And, by the way, we are about halfway through the story! It will have 20- 22 chapters, depending on how a few things go. And, because I really want to get this finished, I am omitting other minor plotlines I'd planned for now. **

**But I promise you guys, I will finish this by the end of the year. Hopefully around October.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twitter, Diet Coke, or Victorious.**

x.

The next day, after Tori had wiped her tears (this whole Trina thing was turning her into a mess) and worked on her History project with Cat, who was living with her Nona for some reason, she delivered the letter to Beck's. He answered the door quickly, looking at her warily. She could see Jade in the back of the small RV, probably terrorizing the fish.

"…Thanks, Tor. But I talked it over with Jade, and neither of us want to read it. We know she was your sister, and you care about her, but we really didn't know her, and I don't like Jade getting put through this distress. On Friday, her locker was broken into and someone spray painted 'Ding, dong the Wicked Witch is dead!' inside it! She's considering going to a therapist because she thinks it's her fault that Trina's dead! After that stupid tape…. I-"

"Wait, when did you guys get back together anyway? I thought you were broken up!" Tori exclaimed, eyes wide. "How did I now know about this?" She muttered, shaking her head.

Beck scratched his head. "Uh.. It's been almost a week. We kinda got back together right after Sikowitz got rolled off to the hospital."

Tori just shook her head. Beck and Jade were weird. "Wait, do you know how Sikowitz is doing?"

"I think he's in intensive care. Apparently he had heart problems, and something intensified it, giving him a heart attack. He was barely breathing when we found him, but apparently he still was. He probably won't come back to teach though, at least not this year." Beck replied, thinking sadly of the beloved teacher.

"It was probably because he smoked weed." Tori replied, acting casual but sneaking a peek at Beck for his reaction.

He looked surprised, but not much. But then again, Beck never reacted all that much to anything, Tori thought wryly.

Just then, Jade walked up next to him. "Well, if it looks like a pothead, and it smells like a pothead..." She smirked, intertwining hands with Beck. "It looks like we're done here, Tori. See you on Monday!" She said, closing the door on Tori's puzzled face.

xx.

"Babe, can you get the mail?" Beck asked Jade, groaning in frustration. He had literally piles of homework due Monday and a huge test on Tuesday. Jade's distracting talk and lips weren't helping much, either.

"Fine." She groaned, going outside. Sifting through the mail, she found bills, a wedding invitation, and… a small brown box that reminded her of one she had gotten 3 weeks ago. No, it couldn't be. Could it?

She took the box, hiding it away from any wandering eyes under the seat of her banged up car. If it had what she thought it did, she was going to need to… _eliminate _certain parts. Shaking her head, she found her keys (thank god she'd brought her purse) and headed to Sinjin's, unaware of chocolate brown eyes watching her from the RV.

xxx.

After a short drive, she stomped out of her car, kicking up dust. Even though Sinjin lived in the middle of the city, the yard surrounding his sturdy but small house had no grass to speak of. Jade didn't think anything had grown there for a hundred years. Grabbing the package, she knocked on the door hesitantly. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to turn up, unannounced, asking for help to the guy she had refused to go out with a thousand times. And she wasn't exaggerating, Sinjin had asked her out exactly one thousand times before admitting defeat. She thought he was over her by now, though. Kind of.

The door opened by itself ominously, and Jade stepped in, feeling like the main character in one of those cheesy horror movies that she laughed at. Suddenly, a tall, eyeglass bearing, somewhat familiar looking man appeared out of the darkness. "Get out of my house." He barked.

Jade's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong, four eyes?" She taunted, smirking as his face fell. People were so easy. "I'm looking for Sinjin."

"He's in the shed, goth." The man practically snarled, shoving her out the door and slamming it behind her.

Stumbling, Jade was steadied by a pair of hands. "Get off of me!" She threatened.

Turning, she saw Sinjin there. "Sorry about my brother. He's been in a horrible mood for a month now. He even got fired from his bartending job a few days ago."

Jade stared. "What made you think I care?"

"The real question is, why should I help you? You obviously want something from me." Sinjin stated. "And you know I don't do work for free."

Looking around, Jade sighed, showing him the box in her hand. "Let's go somewhere private."

Turning, he led her into a rickety shed in the corner of the yard.

When she walked in, though, she was in awe.

"What is this place?" She asked, letting a hint of admiration show.

"This is my lair. Now, what do you want?" Sinjin was all business.

She reluctantly gave him the box, and took out one of the sharp pairs of scissors she was infamous for having, ready to cut it open.

"Wait." He grabbed her hand. There was a note on one end, written in brown ink.

'About time for this one, huh Beck? Xox Trina.' It read, and, almost in unison, Jade and Sinjin gulped.

xxxx.

"So you know about the _reasons_?" Jade asked, perplexed.

"Well, I was one of them, wasn't I?" Sinjin laughed almost sarcastically.

"I need-" She hesitated on the words, because if anything, Jade has never needed anyone. Swallowing her pride, she continued. "I need your freaky technological genius to delete certain.. unsavory parts of this reason. You see, Beck has a secret…"

xxxxx.

Close by, someone else was listening to the CD lying inside the brown box, full of the dirty secrets of Beck Oliver.

Shutting his eyes, he pressed play for the third time. He couldn't wait until all of these horrible people got what they deserved.

"There are few people I actually hate in this world, hate with a burning, consuming rage. You're not one of them, Beck Oliver, and I'm sad to say you never will be. I tried, trust me I tried desperately to loathe you, despise you and your fluffy hair and chocolate eyes with every fiber of my being. But you're not easy to hate, even after all you've done to me. You were my first boyfriend, when I was a freshman. I was one of the last in my school, probably the whole world, to get a boyfriend, and yet there you were, all cute and charming, asking to walk me to class and kissing my cheek. You wanted to keep it a secret, and I only told my two best friends, and it felt so good to have a little secret from everybody, one thing they didn't know about me. Oh, how naive I'd been. For a while, it was all good. But good things never last with me, as I was about to learn.

We were at your house, making out in your bedroom. Your eyes were bloodshot, but I ignored it then, and you pressured me to do more than I was comfortable with. I refused that day, but two weeks later I gave in. On February 14th, the day I had my first, well, first few drinks, I lost my virginity. _And it sucked_. I clung to you then, more than ever, but you pushed me away. It was like that was all you wanted from me. You started hanging around Jade West, more and more, and another week later, when I tried to kiss you in public during your lunch, and pushed me away and Jade poured her Diet Coke on me and announced, to the whole 8th grade, that I was a slut and that I tried to steal your boyfriend. Your eyes were bloodshot then, too, weren't they Beck? A few days later, after doing some intense spying, I found out your little secret. You were doing heroin and who knew what other kinds of drugs. They kept you up at night, and a little sex-crazy, which was probably the only reason you wanted to go out with me at all. Now, you're off of them. You're all stuffed up with three different kinds of anti-depressants and over the counter drugs. Ever wonder just how Beck was so _chill _and _cool _all the time? Those drugs make him numb, just like a robot. Hey, Beck-bot, you like that?

Remember when I pretended to date Beck this year? It's only a few days ago for me, but by the time this gets to you it's probably just a distant memory. Well, I threatened to tell someone if you didn't pretend to like me, and… you agreed, to my surprise. Then, though, you staged that fight over me with Andre and Robbie, and, at the end of the day, you told me how pathetic I was, and how nobody would believe scorned, bitter me, over you. But now, I have nothing to lose. Check one of the drawers in his RV, they're overflowing with the stuff. Tell me, why would a dead girl lie? That sounds like a joke, but, trust me, I'm not kidding."

**Sorry about how this kinda took a PLL turn at the end. Blame the amazing fanfics. Also, I've been binge-watching Glee, so I'm pretty busy with that, but I hope to get the next chapter up soon- ish! And, shoutout to the 60th reviewer!**

**Oh, and did you like it? Please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ugh, I'm sorry this took so long. My mom and sister got back from vacation, I finished 3 seasons of Glee (and have been reading a lot of fanfiction with Puck narrating, so blame that on all of the cursing in this chapter), and generally been avoiding the hell out of this because I wasn't sure where to start. But thanks to victoriousandicarlysky, I finally got myself together and typed this out within two hours. I'm sorry, this chapter doesn't have a new reason in it, but I figured Beck and Jade and kind of Cat needed some closure, so here this is.**

**Warning: Some swearing, like i mentioned earlier.**

**And thank you guys so so much for all of your support, you guys blow me away. 5,100+ hits? I know they're not the best count of views, but wow, people actually clicked, altogether, over 5,000 times on my chapters!**

**Enjoy!**

_x._

"Hurry up, would you?" Jade snapped at Sinjin, who flinched, looking like he'd peed his pants. "Beck doesn't know I'm gone."

"It's only been 10 minutes since you got here." Sinjin said quietly, adjusting the audio of the CD slightly and frowning, shaking his head.

"Can you do it or not?" Jade asked, looking worried.

"Yeah, just tell me what you want removed again." Sinjin replied, trying not to irritate the girl next to him even more.

"Everything about the drugs he took and how he's taking antidepressants. He is, but the one time I helped wean him off that stupid cricket came and messed with his head. But if they find out, no matter how unjudging and open Tori says she is, she's going to be freaked out by this 'new' him and turn against him, and convince everyone else. And he doesn't deserve that. He can't help it!"

"You don't need to defend him to me, Jade." Sinjin said, sounding slightly amused, upsetting Jade even more.

"Whatever. Do you need me to, like help, or what?" She asked reluctantly. All she wanted to do was get out of there.

"You could help me with another problem…" Sinjin said suggestively.

"Shut up Sinjin!" Jade shouted, moving across the room. Checking her phone, she noticed she had a missed call from Beck. She doesn't return it.

_xx._

Finally, 15 minutes later Sinjin's done, and making sure it plays right.

"Just give me it." Jade told him eventually, snatching the CD from the holder and shoving it into the case. "I'm leaving."

Sinjin watched her go with a smile on his face. That's code for 'thank you' in her book. Smirking, he went back to watching the cameras, especially the one on Beck's RV.

When she arrived at Beck's RV, she walked in to see him sweaty and choking on his pills. Some days were worse than most.

"Babe, I told you to always wait until I came!" She said scoldingly, swiping them from him and tossing them into the garbage. Beck's pale, and she shook her head sadly before getting him a cold glass of water and his pills. He didn't deserve this life, she thought as she helped him swallow pill by pill. Wiping his mouth, he whispered a raspy 'thank you, babe' to her before he went to shower.

Jade sighed, glancing at the box she dropped at the entrance. Ignoring it for now, she flopped down on the bed. She'd tell them about it tomorrow.

_xxx._

God, it was 7 am and Jade could _feel _the cardboard box _taunting _her from across the room. She had just woken up, though, and she resisted the urge to destroy it until 9, eating breakfast and working on her History project. Finally, after checking to see that Beck was asleep, his hair perfect even after hours of tossing and turning, she kicked the box as gently as she could and opened it, cutting it up with scissors she'd found on top of the fish tank. When she had gotten her anger out, she found her PearPhone on the floor and called up Tori.

On the bed, Beck shifted closer to where Jade was standing, his ear angled towards her.

She thought he was asleep, but he knew she was keeping something from him, and he thought he knew what it was.

"I found it….Yeah, he knows…Robbie?... No, not yet…Fine.. See you in a few hours." Is all he could make out, because Jade lowered her voice a lot, presumably not to wake him up. His eyes snapped open as he figured out what Jade was up to. That bitch!

_xxxx._

After 3 hours of anxiety, it was finally time to go to Vega's. Beck was up, so she made an excuse about having to see her dad, which, frankly, she thought was the worst lie ever, but he seemed to buy it, so she just shrugged and practically ran out of the tiny mobile home. Seriously, it was freaking claustrophobic in there.

When she was outside, she heard him calling for her, and turned around for a minute, searching for him. When he wasn't in the RV, she just shrugged and took out the keys to her car.

It was only a few minutes until she got to Tori's house, which already had Cat's brother's car parked in front of it. Opening her car door, she screamed as a hand grabbed her left shoulder. Turning, she saw Beck.

"What the fuck were you doing in the backseat of my car?" Jade asked slowly and threateningly, enunciating each word carefully.

Ignoring her, Beck opened his big fat mouth. "I knew you were cheating on me with the pasty Jewish freak!" He cried, looking around wildly. "Wait, why are we at Tori's?"

By then, Tori and Cat came outside to see what the scream was about, but neither of the couple noticed.

"Because Trina sent you a video and I was trying to protect you!" Jade yelled.

"Get inside!" Tori shouted, striding over to them and tugging them towards her house.

When they get inside, Tori commanded them to sit down and get this resolved, before moving to make popcorn.

"I love popcorn!" Cat pitched in, before going to the kitchen and opening random drawers.

Beck looked up at her sadly. "I'm sorry, babe, I've just been a little crazy lately. And I heard parts of your phone call this morning and you left yesterday and I didn't know what to think."

"I'd think that you know I'd never cheat on you with _Robbie_." Jade replied, wrinkling her nose.

"Hey, what's wrong with me?" Robbie asked indignantly, entering with Robbie.

"Oh, nothing, except that I don't like you or that stupid puppet." Jade snapped.

"Now let's just watch the stupid tape before I kill someone."

So that's what they did.

"There are few people I actually hate in this world, hate with a burning, consuming rage. You're not one of them, Beck Oliver, and I'm sad to say you never will be. I tried, trust me I tried desperately to loathe you, despise you and your fluffy hair and chocolate eyes with every fiber of my being. But you're not easy to hate, even after all you've done to me. You were my first boyfriend, when I was a freshman. I was one of the last in my school, probably the whole world, to get a boyfriend, and yet there you were, all cute and charming, asking to walk me to class and kissing my cheek. You wanted to keep it a secret, and I only told my two best friends, and it felt so good to have a little secret from everybody, one thing they didn't know about me. Oh, how naive I'd been. For a while, it was all good. But good things never last with me.

You started hanging around Jade West, more and more, and another week later, when I tried to kiss you in public during your lunch, and pushed me away and Jade poured her Diet Coke on me and announced, to the whole 8th grade, that I was a slut and that I tried to steal your boyfriend.

Remember when I pretended to date Beck this year? It's only a few days ago for me, but by the time this gets to you it's probably just a distant memory. Well, I threatened to tell someone if you didn't pretend to like me, and… you agreed, to my surprise. Then, though, you staged that fight over me with Andre and Robbie, and, at the end of the day, you told me how pathetic I was. Tell me, why would a dead girl lie? That sounds like a joke, but, trust me, I'm not kidding."

"Well, that was short." Tori commented.

"And choppy." Cat said.

"I never knew you dated Trina. I thought we told each other everything, dude." Andre said, winking at Beck.

"Whatever, it's over. Bye." Jade said, dragging Beck out with her.

"I need to find my brother." Cat rushed out of the house, her flip-flops making squishy sounds on the grass. She couldn't stand being in there any longer. All of those secrets, clumped up in one place? It made her nauseous. She tried to stay friends with them all, sitting with them at lunch and everything, but it kept getting harder and harder to ignore all of the horrible things they'd done. And as much as they tried, she knew they didn't care about her. They didn't even remember how her brother moved away, or notice how she'd been babysitting. She needed to get back to her home, with reliable Sam and the shard of the CD Trina had sent her under the bed. They didn't know her at all.

**Honestly, I don't know where this came from. I don't know why I kept putting this off because once I start writing, I don't have writer's block or anything. Sorry about the tense mistakes I know are in there. For some reason, today everything sounded good in present tense, but this story's written in past tense so I had to change it right after writing. And I like it, i think. I'm working on a trina birthday oneshot, which might come out kinda soon in celebration of my own birthday, (August 18th), but I started writing it a year ago and I just started working on it again so I dunno..**

**And really? None of you noticed a hint I put in the last chapter as to who that guy at the end was? It did tie in to the 2nd or 3rd chapter though, so I'm not that surprised, but let me just tell you it has something to do with a not-main character. Or maybe it just makes sense to me...**

**Anyway I know I wanted to say a lot more in this, but I can't remember everything right now so I'll just tell you I plan to update within a week. We'll see how that goes.**

**Please review! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**So it's been 12 days... I'm sorry, I really did think I would be able to get it up within a week, but I really did get writer's block for this reason. Thank you so much to my reviewers, you guys are amazing and really give me things to think about while writing this story. I love you guys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, or Sam and Cat, which is mentioned. Kind of.**

'Ding dong!' Cat's doorbell rang, and she raced to the door, with the adorable goat, Murf, in tow.

"Hi, I'm Cat!" She said while opening the door, assuming it was a customer she was expecting later in the day.

"We know, Cat." Jade replied, and Cat did a double take. "Wanna go to Nozu with me and Tori? It'll be like a girl's night out."

"I'm sorry, but I'm busy tonight." Cat said apologetically.

"With what? And why is there a filthy goat behind you?" Jade questioned, clearly surprised.

"I'm babysitting tonight. Sorry, I got to go, Murf looks like _he_ needs to go!" Cat giggled before slamming the door in Jade's face.

"Vega, you were right. Something _is _up with Cat." Jade admitted to Tori minutes later on the phone. "Can we still go to Nozu with the others then? I'm craving some sushi rolls right now….See you then."

An hour later, the gang sans Cat entered Nozu, sitting cheerily down in one of the booths. Mrs. Lee approached them, looking regretful and carrying a CD. "This is for you. Please, don't play it in here, I don't want to have to listen to it again."

"What is that?" Tori asked warily, grabbing the CD from the table and turning it right side up. "_Oh_. Guys, let's go back to the car, we've got another reason."

The gang reluctantly got up, going to Jade's car and squeezing back in. Jade turned on the ignition and Tori, shoved in the back, leaned forward and slid the CD into the player.

Here goes nothing, she thought sarcastically.

"While Beck was out buying drugs with his daddy's money, mine had cut me off. What's a girl to do but get a job? And I got one. At Nozu. It wasn't the ideal job, but not because I had to sing a weird song while chopping squid or that the pay was bad, it was because the owner hated me. Yes Mrs. Lee, I know you hated me. In your defense, you tried to hide it, but I could feel it whenever you looked at me. You were never 100% happy with the work I did, and you always gave me the stink eye when I spilled or dropped something. Also, you made me serve all of my classmates, even though I could usually figure out their schedules and plan my work hours accordingly, it was humiliating when I did come across them. I had to serve them and act like their maid, getting them things, cleaning up after them. I was called 'Waitress' for 2 weeks after the first time some popular girls, aka Lindsay and her crew, saw me there. I worked for 24 hours every week and you made all of them unenjoyable.

One night you left uncharacteristically early, at 10 pm, instructing me to stay for the 2 hours until you'd be back and to lock up if you were late. I was thrilled. Were you starting to trust me? Or even better, like me? I worked my butt off for those 2 hours, serving and making most of the orders from night owls and cleaning the counters when I had spare time. Almost exactly 2 hours had passed when you came stumbling back in, hair ruffled and lipstick smudged. Luckily, there were no lurking customers, and when you sat down on the floor, I pulled you up and hauled you onto a chair and got you some coffee, trying to get you to talk to me. Your breath stank of beer and I was panicking. What do you do with a drunk woman? I was debating between sending you home – not that I even knew where that was- or keeping you here so Daisy didn't see you like this when you started speaking.

"I hate you." You spat at me, glaring at me for a second before turning your gaze to the table. "You, go to your fancy performing arts school and have all of your little friends, a nice big house and two normal parents and a good life. I _hate_ you. My Daisy, she wants all of that. She deserves all of that. But she's stuck with a public school, broken dreams, a basement underneath a restaurant for a house, and an abusive, runaway father and a deadbeat mom." Pulling a bottle out of your jacket, you gulped down a sip, before dropping it onto the table. "You know, the only reason I hired you was to make your life miserable. Let me tell you a little story."

I was shocked. Flabbergasted. I'd never seen this side of you, such an angry at the world woman before and I straightened, looking around for my jacket.

"It's past 12, looks like my shift is done!" I said quickly, before bolting. Or, should I say, _trying_ to bolt.

"Sit down." You hissed, and meekly, I did. "This is a story about a half Chinese, half Japanese little girl who loved to sing. She'd sing whenever she could, performing for the small town she lived in like it was a musical. Well, it wasn't. And one day, her father sat her down and told her the hard truth. That she could never be a singer. America was already unkind to Chinese people, and the best job she could hope for was at a factory, working from 7 am to 9 pm like he did. Her mother was dead by then, having died during childbirth of her stillborn younger brother. So, after that day, she stopped singing. Fast forward 10 years, and you have a girl who's pregnant. Her boyfriend gets mad and hits her sometimes, and she moves in with him anyway because she doesn't know what else to do. She's fired from her job and her father doesn't talk to her anymore, so she feels like she has to. And when the baby's born, and the scared daddy runs away, she finally feels like she's worth something, and can make a good life for her daughter. Except she can't, and she's working at a job that she hates and they're dirt poor, but she wants her little girl to get the chance she never did, to be a singer." You paused, and I think you're going to finish your story, but you just took another swig from the bottle and shifted farther away from me. "Leave. Now. You're fired. Never come back."

"What?" I asked, perplexed, but gathering my things.

"Go. Now." You replied, as if you hadn't told me your deepest secrets, your life story while half drunk. So I did.

I ran, and I didn't look back. But that's the reason you're one of my reasons, Mrs. Lee. You put a weight on my shoulders, something you couldn't keep inside and dumped it on me. You showed me what my future would be like, and you drowned any hope I had of being a star."

**I just want to say that Mrs. Lee is in her 30's, and there was still racism back then in America. And I'm assuming she was quite young when she had Daisy, who is old enough to audition for Hollywood Arts, so she's about 15 in this story, although I doubt she'll ever be mentioned in this story again. And you can consider Andre's Horrible Girl to be after Mrs. Lee fired Trina or before, really.**

**And I just wanted to explain that Trina saw herself living in Mrs. Lee's shoes. She'd been told how she'd never make it as a singer, she didn't think she had much of a future, she had a boyfriend like that ( explained in the next chapter ), and she could basically see herself turning into an bitter Mrs. Lee. **

**And I'm honestly really excited for Andre's chapter, the reason is going to be so much fun to write, as well as Trina's parents and Tori's will be. But right now, the timeline for reasons is Ryder Daniels, Robbie, Moose, Andre, her parents, Tori, then a secret person I'll reveal after. ;)**

**Hope you enjoyed, and I'll probably update before September 9th, when school starts again for me!**


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